A positive attitude–optimism, expectancy, and enthusiasm–makes everything in business easier. A positive attitude boosts you up when you’re down and supercharges you when you’re already “on a roll.”

Here’s how to cultivate a positive attitude, regardless of what’s happening at work, based upon a conversation with Jeff Keller, author of the bestseller Attitude Is Everything:

1. Remember that YOU control your attitude.

Attitude does not emerge from what happens to you, but instead from how you decide to interpret what happens to you.

2. Adopt beliefs that frame events in a positive way.

Your beliefs and rules about life and work determine how you interpret events and therefore your attitude. Decide to adopt “strong” beliefs that create a good attitude rather than beliefs that create a bad attitude. To use sales as an example:

3. Create a “library” of positive thoughts.

Spend at least 15 minutes every morning to read, view, or listen to something inspirational or motivational. If you do this regularly, you’ll have those thoughts and feelings ready at hand (or rather, ready to mind) when events don’t go exactly the way you’d prefer.

4. Avoid angry or negative media.

Unfortunately, the media is full of hateful people who make money by goading listeners to be paranoid, unhappy, and frightened. The resulting flood of negativity doesn’t just destroy your ability to maintain a positive attitude; it actively inserts you into a state of misery, pique, and umbrage. Rather than suck up the spew, limit your “informational” media consumption to business and industry news.

5. Ignore whiners and complainers.

Whiners and complainers see the world through crap-colored glasses. They’d rather talk about what’s irreparably wrong, rather than make things better. More importantly, complainers can’t bear to see somebody else happy and satisfied.

If you tell a complainer about a success that you’ve experienced, they’ll congratulate them, but their words ring hollow. You can sense they’d just as soon you told them about what’s making you miserable. What a drag (figuratively and literally)!

6. Use a more positive vocabulary.

I’ve written about this before, but the point is worth making again. The words that come out of your mouth aren’t just a reflection of what’s in your brain–they’re programming your brain how to think. Therefore, if you want to have a positive attitude, your vocabulary must be consistently positive. Therefore:

• Stop using negative phrases such as “I can’t,” “It’s impossible,” or “This won’t work.” These statements program you for negative results.
• https://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/how-to-create-a-positive-attitude.html

Most people know how to build physical strength, there’s a lot more confusion over the steps you can take to develop mental strength.

While there are lots of exercises that can help you become mentally strong, here are the three secrets to boosting your mental strength:

1. Talk to yourself like a trusted friend.

Scientists at the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging estimate humans have about 70,000 thoughts per day. That means you have 70,000 opportunities to either make yourself stronger, or tear yourself down.

Your thoughts greatly influence how you feel and behave. In fact, your inner monologue has a tendency to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thinking things like, “I will never get hired for this job,” or “Nobody ever listens to me,” can alter your behavior in a way that makes those predictions come true.

Practice replacing overly negative thoughts with more realistic ones. When you notice yourself thinking somethi
ng like, “I’m a loser and I’ll never amount to anything,” remind yourself that your thoughts aren’t necessarily true.

Ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who said this about herself?” Then, offer those kind and gentle words to yourself.

2. Take charge of your emotions.

Allowing your emotions to control your life will deplete your mental strength. While there’s nothing wrong with being in a bad mood sometimes, staying stuck in a negative spot can be a slippery slope. Sadness can lead to self-pity, anger can turn to bitterness and mild anxiety can become paralyzing fear if you’re not careful.

A lot of problems stem from a desire to avoid discomfort. For example, people who fear failure often avoid new challenges in an effort to keep anxiety at bay. But, avoiding emotional discomfort is usually a short-term solution that leads to long-term problems.

Develop an awareness of how your emotions impact your life. Decide that you’re going to be in control of your emotions, so that your emotions don’t control you. Face uncomfortable feelings head-on and take charge of your life. The more you practice tolerating discomfort, the more confidence you’ll gain in your ability to accept new challenges.

3. Behave productively despite the circumstances.

It’s impossible to feel mentally strong when you’re engaging in self-destructive behaviors that sabotage your best efforts. Yet, most people have a few unproductive habits that they indulge in on a regular basis.

Many of these bad habits seem minor — complaining about your boss, hosting your own pity party, or trying to please everyone — but they can wreak havoc on your mental state. When you perform these bad habits, right alongside your good ones, your efforts become counterproductive.

You only have a finite amount of time and energy in life. Devoting those resources to the things mentally strong people don’t do will tire you out and slow your progress toward your goals.

Build mental strength

Everyone has the ability to build mental strength. Similar to building physical strength, developing mental muscle requires dedication and hard work. With practice, you’ll gain an increased ability to regulate your thoughts, control your emotions, and behave productively despite your circumstances.

Learning how to flex your mental muscle is the key to reaching your greatest potential in life. Whether your goal is to become an elite athlete, or you strive to be a more patient parent, mental strength will help you reach your goals.

http://www.businessinsider.com/3-secrets-to-building-your-mental-strength-2015-8

 

Powered by Giphy

As a public school educator, there were so many things that could lure me into a daily habit of focusing on the far-from-positive realities of this work: broken copiers and desks, not enough novel sets in the book room that I desperately want to read with my students, and pretty much limited supplies of everything. Anyone who works in a public school knows what I’m talking about. There’s a lot that needs fixing.

So how do we stay out of the negative minefield and focus on what works, on the miracles of it all?

#1. Laugh with Your Students

Our profession has become highly politicized these days which can be very troubling (public vs. charter, teacher bashing in the media, standards-based rhetoric overkill, etc.) It takes extra energy and effort to keep up boundaries from getting over-involved in these sometimes-crass battles.

So I say, more than ever, humor is a crucial element that can keep us motivated, grateful, and positive.

There’s the middle school science teacher who begins every class period each day with corny science jokes. (“Where do astronauts park their spaceships? At parking meteors!”) There’s the high school world history teacher who dresses up every single day in a period costume. And there’s the third grade teacher who chuckles alongside her students when the opportunity arises. Make time and space in your classroom for humor. Create a comic strip corner or invite students to share funny stories and jokes the last minute or two of class.

#2. Stick with the Motivators

You know these colleagues. Keep them close. These are the teachers who may gripe on occasion or do a twenty-second vent session but then quickly turn to a funny story about something a student told them or tell you about a great teaching strategy or inspiring TEDtalk they just watched. Perhaps this person is you? If so, keep spreading the hope and the positive, and take on the goal of motivating a colleague who you’ve observed in a rut.

#3. Seek New Inspiration

When was the last time you went and observed a colleague teaching? We can spend 15 minutes in someone else’s classroom and pick up a new reading activity, method for grouping students, teacher move or saying, or even an idea for a whole unit plan. Don’t underestimate the power of leaving the four walls of your classroom! How about visiting an elective class or a club? You can enter the room as observer, advisor for the day, or as a participant. Go check out the art class or the lunchtime
computer club. Putting ourselves in the learner’s seat can surprise us, serving to inspire in ways we didn’t expect.

#4. Look for the Light

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” — William Arthur Ward

This noble profession is full of surprises. Be grateful for the grand and not so grand moments. Sometimes a smile from a shy student, or observing a child ardently pen a paragraph will awaken and warm your heart.

When I’m feeling a little lost and uncertain in this work, I’ll take out the letters from over the years students have written to me and recall each of their faces as I read their kind words. Sometimes we have no idea the effects we are having on our students when we take those extra seconds to check in on them, or nudge them to trust their abilities on those low days, or when we just sit and listen. Those letters, notes, and cards remind me that when I pause and act from my heart, it matters.

 

Read More

Read More

We all do it — you know, complain about people or situations in our life. We may even call it “venting” in an effort to disguise our complaining, but when it all boils down to it, they’re both the same behaviour.

On the surface, complaining may seem harmless — perhaps even helpful, as venting may make us feel better — but complaining can have serious physical and mental ramifications.

Society itself seems to encourage complaining — we complain about work and being overworked, we complain about lack of time and being too busy to enjoy life, we complain about family members and issues, we complain about lack of sleep and feeling exhausted, and we love to complain when we get sick— the list goes on and on….

So, how does complaining affect us? From a brain perspective, “synapses that wire together fire together” — this is a basic premise of neuroscience. Every time you complain, you are reinforcing that wiring and making it easier to trigger it. Do it often enough and it can become your default setting. Negative thoughts beget more negative thoughts and you can easily fall into a cycle of negative thinking and chronic complaining.

In addition, misery loves company, so complainers tend to have friends who also complain, Complainers also affect people around them. Ever find yourself sympathizing and sharing your own personal similar experience when someone complains to you about something specific? It can happen easily and unintentionally, even to the least complaining and most positive person.

Ask yourself, how do you feel afterwards?

Prolonged complaining leads to stress, and it’s well documented that prolonged stress makes us sick: weakening the immune system, raising blood pressure, increasing the risk of heart disease, obesity, and diabetes, and causing a plethora of other ailments.

Scientists have known for years that elevated cortisol levels (the stress hormone) interfere with learning and memory, lower immune function and bone density, promote weight gain and heart disease, and increase blood pressure and cholesterol. Chronic stress and elevated cortisol levels also increase risk for depression and mental illness, and lower life expectancy.

How To Stop Complaining

Being human, however, we may need to vent once in a while, so here are some tips to help you avoid over-complaining:

Take time out to cool off and step back from whatever is bothering you so you can diffuse your emotions/anger. Try some deep breathing, go for a walk in nature, hit the gym, meditate, or do something fun or relaxing to calm yourself.

Write down what is bothering you — writing helps us to better understand why we are upset and can help us see the situation with a more balanced perspective.

Take responsibility for your part in the situation; don’t just blame the other person as the wrongdoer. What is this situation teaching you? Introspection is helpful for finding balance and being open to a solution or determining if it’s best to let it go at this time.

If you need to vent, let the Listener know ahead of time, so they can prepare themselves or let you know that now is not a good time.

Keep it short — this is very important, as we humans tend to go into stories when we moan and groan. It’s best to keep your share to under 2 minutes to avoid drama and dumping. Ask your Listener to intervene and gently yet firmly stop you if you go past the 2 minutes — you will both be thankful.

Remember that complaining affects your energy, mood, brain activity, and stress levels. If you need to vent, keep it short and sweet, for everyone’s sake — especially your own.

Source: Sharmini Gana, Collective Evolution

لماذا يعد “التذمر” قاتلاً بمعنى الكلمة؟…تعرف على كيفية الإقلاع عن هذه العادة

المصدر: شميني جنا، التطور الجماعي

“The best way to overcome undesirable or negative thoughts and feelings is to cultivate the positive ones.” ~ William Atkinson

Its important we recognize our thoughts and emotions and be aware of its effect not only on our health but also our relationships and our surroundings. Positive emotions makes you feel happy and joyful. Everything around you seems beautiful, you enjoy the moment and things seem to fall into place.

Barbara Fredrickson, one of the long-time researchers and author on positive emotions, has shown how cultivating positivity can transform us at a cellular level and actually shape who we are.

Positive emotions or behaviour – like playfulness, gratitude, awe, love, interest, serenity, and feeling of interconnectedness to others – broadens our perspective, opens our mind and heart as we feel completely in tune with our environment. Like the flowers that open up when the sun rises, the same way positive emotions bring light and joy back in our lives.

Shakespeare said, “Frame your mind to mirth and merriment, which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.”

Lets see the physical and emotional benefits of positive emotions –

• Faster recovery from cardiovascular stress
• Positive emotions have also been shown to benefit individuals with cardiovascular disease.
• Lower blood pressure and risk for cardiovascular disease
• Better sleep, fewer colds, headaches, aches and pain, and a greater sense of overall happiness  
• Expands our perception of what lies in our peripheral vision
• Research suggests that even more abstract positive emotions like hope and curiosity offer protective benefits from diseases like high blood pressure and diabetes.
• Studies show that positive emotions help a person to overcome negative emotions faster and be more resilient and be able to cope with a difficult situation.
• People are more playful when happy, so that leads better physical fitness, regular exercise or increased flexibility. (so its important to engage in an activity that makes you happy)
• People who experience warmer, more upbeat emotions may have better physical health because they make more social connections

When you delve in that happy space, more possibilities and new ideas emerge and our creativity flows. Happiness and joy transform us, although you might not stay in that state all the time. There will days when you feel down and out, but if we observe our emotions and divert our mind and think of the happy moments, you will find the negative emotion fading away.

Don’t forget negative, repressed emotions can have detrimental effect on our body, mind and spirit. It takes control over you and makes you feel down, gloomy, unhealthy and its a unpleasant state to be in.

Nothing like a good humour to drive the negativity away, always works for me. So increase your daily diet of positivity or engage in activities that bring about happy feelings either meditation, exercise, yoga, laughter clubs, walk, painting, and so on. Love your life and yourself.

Positive feelings also help us live in the present moment and believe in oneness and interconnectedness with everything around us. To sum it up, Marcus Aurelius said “Remember this, that very little is needed to make a happy life.”

Source: Bhavika, Fractal Enlightenment

تأثير العواطف الإيجابية على صحتنا

إن افضل طريقة للتغلب على الأفكار والمشاعر  السلبية هي تنمية المشاعر الإيجابية

ويليام اتكينسون

فمن المهم ان ندرك جيداً طبيعة افكارنا ومشاعرنا وننتبه إلى تأثيرهما ليس فقط على صحتنا فحسب ولكن على علاقاتنا بمن حولنا

المشاعر الإيجابية تجعلنا اكثر سعادة و بهجة وتجعلنا نرى كل شيء من حولنا جميل مما يجعلنا نستمتع باللحظة التي نعيشها و نضع كل شيء في مكانه الصحيح

و تقول الباحثة والكاتبة باربرا فريديكسون ان الأبحاث الطويلة اظهرت مدى تأثير تنمية المشاعر الإيجابية على الواقع الذي نعيشه

فالمشاعر الإيجابية او السلوك الإيجابي مثل :اللعب و الامتنان والصفاء  والحب و الاهتمام و الترابط مع الآخرين يوسعون مداركنا و يفتحون قلوبنا وعقولنا و يجعلونا في تناغم تام مع بيئتنا

تماماً مثلما تتفتح الورود مع اشراقة الشمس، تستطيع المشاعر الإيجابية ان تنير حياتنا وتعيد إليها البهجة والسعادة

ويقول شكسبير “لتطيل عمرك وتبعد عن حياتك آلاف الأضرار ..حاصر عقلك بالفرح و الطرب”

وهذه بعض الفوائد الجسدية والعاطفية للتفكير الإيجابي:

-تعافي اسرع من اجهاد  القلب و الأوعية الدموية

-المشاعر الإيجابية تفيد الأشخاص الذين يعانون من امراض القلب و الأوعية الدموية

-تخفض ضغط الدم و احتمالات الإصابة بأمراض القلب و الأوعية الدموية

-نوم افضل ،نزلات برد اقل، صداع اقل، وجع و ألم اقل احساس اكبر بالسعادة

-توسع تصورنا و تقييمنا لمحيطنا

-و تشير الأبحاث إلى ان المشاعر الإيجابية المجردة مثل الأمل والفضول تقي من امراض ارتفاع ضغط الدم و السكري

-اظهرت الدراسات ان المشاعر الإيجابية تساعدنا في التغلب على المشاعر السلبية بشكل اسرع والخروج من المواقف الصعبة بسهولة

-عندما نكون سعداء نميل اكثر إلى اللعب والهرج مما يجعلنا نتمرن بشكل منتظم فتتحسن صحتنا البدنية ونصبح اكثر لياقة(و لذلك من المهم ان نشارك دائماَ في نشاط يجعلنا سعداء)

-اصحاب العواطف الفياضة الدافئة تكون صحتهم البدنية افضل لأنهم يتمتعون بحياة اجتماعية ناجحة

-عندما تقتحمون منطقة السعادة الخاصة بكم  سوف تجدون المزيد من الأفكار الجديدة و الإبداعات  تنهال عليكم

فالسعادة والبهجة يغيرون شكل حياتنا حتى في الأوقات التي نشعر فيها بالضيق والإحباط فالمشاعر الإيجابية تساعدنا في التغلب على المشاعر السلبية و التفكير في اللحظات الجميلة الموجودة في حياتنا

-العواطف السلبية المكبوتة يكون لها تأثير ضار على كل من الجسم والعقل و الروح

فهي تسيطر علين
ا و تجعلنا  نشعر بالإحباط و التشاؤم وتتركنا في حالة كئيبة و غير صحية

-لا شيء يبعد السلبية عنا  مثل روح الدعابة ولذلك ادخلوا على نظامكم اليومي جرعة من الإيجابية او شاركوا في انشطة تشعركم بالسعادة مثل: التأمل، التمرن ، ممارسة اليوغا ، المشاركة في ديوانيات او تجمعات الضحك ،المشي ، الرسم …الخ

احبوا انفسكم و حياتكم

 -المشاعر الإيجابية تساعدنا ايضاً على عيش اللحظة و الترابط مع الآخرين

ويقول ماركوس اوريليوس

 تذكروا دائماً ان هناك  اشياء بسيطة جداً قادرة على خلق السعادة

Fractal Enlightenment, المصدر: بافيكا

If you believe that negative emotions are the only ones people avoid, consider the following.

A psychological study recently confirmed that depression is not caused by the simple presence of a negative state of mind. There is another huge, overlooked factor.

That factor is the avoidance of positive emotions that you already have.

In other words, each of us experiences natural positive emotions that want to surface every single day. Then, something mind-boggling happens.

When the positive emotions start to rise, they get repressed!

Here is the scenario:

Let’s say you cook eggs that turn out beautifully. And you feel a subtle desire to celebrate this tiny success by feeling great. As that feeling of personal joy begins to surface, you hear a negative voice in your head that says:

Don’t be an idiot. They’re just eggs.
Go ahead, make a fool out yourself – you’re pathetic.
Careful now, if you start to feel great, you might lose control of yourself.
Yeah, but something crappy is going to happen real soon!
Hey! Grow up, would ya?

And good-bye to feeling good.

Life is far from perfect, yet there are still so many things to feel great about. Why don’t we go there more of the time? Why do we avoid our positive emotions as if they were some sort of disease?

Negative psychological attachments are the best explanation I’ve ever heard of. Yet, let’s skip over “why” and get right to the ways you can bring back the feel good into your life.

1. Realize What You’re Doing

Get off autopilot and realize that you are talking yourself out of feeling good. Become aware of the negative voices in your head – don’t fight them – just thank them for whatever they are concerned about and quietly invite that good feeling to return.

It may take some practice, but it can work. When you understand that you are pushing something away, it is easier to stop pushing.

If the negative voices are persistent, then you’ve got an obstacle to deal with, that’s all. You can learn to handle them.

2. Step Into It

There are two ways to experience anything. 1) We can be fully immersed; seeing, hearing and feeling with full presence. Or 2) We can take an observer perspective – more detached as if watching our experience on a movie screen “over there.”

Both ways have their benefits and drawbacks. When it comes to positive experiences, you’ll want to immerse yourself in them in order to enjoy them. Observing yourself having a good time leaves you feeling disconnected.

A lot of people learn early on to disconnect and watch their life go by. This can serve to avoid feeling the pain of life, but it often means you are avoiding the pleasure as well.

So, mentally and emotionally step into – immerse yourself – into positive experiences, both in the here and now as well as in your memory

3. Find Reasons To Feel Good

If you have a hard time feeling good, then find a reason. Don’t just pretend  you have a reason. Find one in the real world – and make it super easy on yourself.

For example, if you have to do the dishes, then make a deal with yourself. Say, “Self, after you do the dishes, you are going to take a deep, relaxing breath and be very pleased.”

Simple.

If you have to go to work, make a similar deal. Agree with yourself that when you arrive, get things done and leave work, you’ll take a moment to congratulate yourself for being so responsible along the way.

Easy.

After all, doing what we need to do every day takes energy and commitment. It fulfills valuable needs. Why don’t we give ourselves credit?

4. Learn to Take a Compliment

Do you reject compliments? There are two ways to reject a compliment – on the outside or on the inside. Of course, you can do both.

So, someone tells you that you did a great job at something.

If you do an outside rejection, then you respond by saying something like, “Oh, thanks but not really. I barely got by.”

If you do an inside rejection, you might graciously accept the compliment, but berate yourself internally. You might say something like, “Boy were they fooled. If they only knew how incompetent I am.”

Practice giving people credit for having a high opinion of you. Tell yourself, “I just got a compliment that seems sincere. Let it in…..”

If you just can’t do it, then you may have a rejection attachment.

5. Identify Your FULL ON Activity

Most of us have at least one thing we can do to feel good, without any internal backlash. Often it’s an activity that requires such focus that we don’t have the internal room to complain about ourselves. I call this a FULL ON activity.

If you don’t have one, find one! Discover an activity that you enjoy that requires all of your attention to do. For me, it’s cycling. When I’m on my bike, all of my attention must be focused externally in order to be safe.

How Important Is This?

Studies show that happiness extends your life. Researchers at the University College of London followed more than 10,000 people ages 50 and over for more than 10 years. They reported in the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing (ELSA) that unhappy people are three times more likely to die before their happier counterparts.

This is serious. Find a way to feel good. You can do it, because happiness is an inside-out thing and YOU can absolutely learn to control what goes on inside of you.

Source: Mike Bundrant, Psychotherapist

5 طرق لإستعادة مشاعرك الإيجابية المفقودة

إذا كنت تعتقد بأن المشاعر السلبية هي الشيء الوحيد الذي يجب عليك تجنبه

فأنت بالطبع مخطئ

فلقد اكدت دراسة نفسية حديثة ان اسباب الإصابة  بالاكتئاب لا ترجع فقط الى سلبية اصحابها  فهناك سبب آخر اقوى و اشمل من ذلك و هو تجاهل

هؤلاء الأشخاص للمشاعر الإيجابية الموجودة بداخلهم

في كلمات اخرى،  بداخل كل منا مشاعر ايجابية بحاجة لأن تطفو على السطح كل يوم ولكن ربما بسبب بعض الظروف او المواقف او الأفكار التي تمر علينا ندفن هذه المشاعر في اعماقنا إلى ان تصبح بعيدة

كيف ؟

إليكم مثال على السيناريو الذي يحدث:

عندما تطهو اكلة ما و تبدو لذيذة و شهية فينتابك شعور بالسعادة ولكنك تتفاجأ بصوت بداخلك يردد: ما هو الإنجاز الذي صنعته حتى تفرح هكذا؟

وهنا ينطفئ حماسك على الفور وتهرب كل المشاعر الحلوة الموجودة بداخلك

وهذا هو ما يعنيه مصطلح تجنب او تجاهل المشاعر الإيجابية

ولكن كيف يمكنك ان تتعمق اكثر في المشاعر الإيجابية و تنميها؟

اتبع الخطوات التالية و سوف تساعدك:

1-يجب ان تعي جيداً ما الذي تفعله

قد تحتاج إلى بعض الوقت و التمرين حتى تتمكن  من دفع الأصوات السلبية التي تتعالى داخل رأسك بعيداً عنك  حتى لا تعرقلك

فمجرد ادراكك
لوجود مثل هذه الأصوات بداخلك سوف يساعدك كثيراً ،فعندما تعرف ان هناك طاقة سلبية تحاول النيل منك ستبذل قصارى جهدك لتجد طريقاً للخلاص

2-عش التفاصيل

هناك طريقتان تستطيع ان تختبر المواقف من خلالهما:

إما ان تستمع وترى و تشعر بالأشياء و تعيش تفاصيلها

او ان تراقب ما يحدث و كأنك تشاهد فيلماً سينمائياً

لكل طريقة منهما منافعها و مساوئها

ولكن عندما يأتي الأمر للتجربة الإيجابية سنتحدث عن الطريقة الأولى و هي ان عيش التفاصيل و التوغل فيها و الاستمتاع بها فهذا افضل لك على المستوى الذهني و العاطفي

فمراقبة نفسك و انت تقضي وقتاً ممتعاً سوف يقطع تواصلك مع نفسك

3-اخلق الأسباب لتفرح

اذا كنت تقضي وقتاً صعباً  حاول ان تبحث عن سبب يجعلك سعيداً من الداخل وسوف تجد في حياتك الكثير من الأسباب

 مثلاً :اوعد نفسك عند الانتهاء من غسل الصحون بجلسة تأمل واسترخاء و كن سعيداً لأنك ستفعل ذلك

كافئ نفسك  على الأعمال التي تنجزها بأشياء بسيطة تسعدك وازرع الحماس بداخلك

4- تعلم ان تتقبل المجاملة

هل ترفض المجاملات؟

هناك نوعان من الرفض

رفض داخلي و رفض خارجي

وبالطبع يمكن ان تجمع بين الاثنين

ولكن ما معنى الرفض الداخلي و الخارجي

الخارجي: هو عندما يمدح احد عمل قمت به فيكون ردك

“يا إلهي شكرا لك ،انا بالكاد انجزته”

اما في حالة الرفض الداخلي فيمكنك ان تتقبل المجاملة ظاهرياً ولكن داخلياً وكأنك تقول للشخص الذي يجاملك ” كم انت منخدع”

ولذلك عندما تتلقى مجاملة ننصحك بأن تأخذها على محمل الجد وتستمتع بهذا الشعور

5- حدد نشاطاً يحسن مزاجك

شارك في نشاط يأخذ كل تركيزك ،و إن لم يكن لديك ابحث عن واحداً

انا شخصياً افضل ركوب الدراجة، فعندما اركب دراجة يكون كل تركيزي منصب على سلامتي

ما هي اهمية ذلك؟

بعد متابعة اكثر من 10,000 شخص في عمر ال50 و ما فوق اظهرت الأبحاث ان الأشخاص الغير سعداء يموتون بمعدل 3 مرات اكثر من نظرائهم السعداء

ولذلك ابحث عن الأسباب التي تجعلك سعيداً

المصدر: مايك بوندرانت،  مُعالج نفسي

We discovered if you play Tetris for too long you start parsing the world into “How do I make straight lines.” It’s great if you’re playing Tetris, but maladaptive if you’re not. This is called The Tetris Effect.

The same thing happens to us on the cognitive level. I’m working with a very large accounting firm right now, working with tax auditors on how to make them happier. I discovered the tax auditors who are the most successful sometimes are the ones that for eight to 14 hours a day were looking at tax forms, looking for mistakes and errors.

This makes them very good at their job, but when they started leading their teams or they went home to their spouse at night, they would be seeing all the lists of mistakes and errors that were around them. Two of them told me they came home with list of the errors and mistakes that their wife was making. This is what makes me so good at work.

They were stuck in a negative Tetris Effect

Is there a way to get your mind out of these negative loops? Yes.

You must train your brain to seek out the good things in life:

It can be as simple as counting your blessings. Merely listing thre e things you are thankful for each day can start training your mind to focus on the positive. This technique has been proven again and again and again. One of the reasons old people are happier is because they remember the good and forget the bad.

Retrospective judgment is a technique naturally happy people unknowingly use. It’s putting a positive spin on negative past events so you remember them as good. It’s very effective.

Expect things to get better. Optimism can make you happier. Even the army teaches soldiers to be optimistic because it makes them tougher and more resourceful.

Source: Eric Barker, Time Author

المصدر: الكاتب إريك باركر