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Quite a few people often get confused by the difference between “venting” and “complaining,” so let me set the record straight.

Venting is a good thing. Venting is simply about blowing off some steam for one reason or another. For example, you might need to vent after you get off the phone with a ridiculously rude customer, or after a bird took a poop on your brand new jacket as you were walking into the office.

Venting is a positive and healthy activity because there’s a clear goal involved: you are expelling your negative feelings (anger, frustration, etc.) about the situation and once you’re done, you let it go. Done correctly, venting should be an intentional and temporary state.

It’s not about wallowing in the situation for weeks, days, or even hours–you vent about the asshat customer or the asshat bird (side note: can a bird be an asshat?), and then once it’s off your chest, you move on. A good way to know that you’re venting and not complaining is that you should feel much better once you’re done.

Complaining, on the other hand, may look similar to venting, but they are really nothing alike. There is no clear goal to complaining. In fact, more often than not, complainers aren’t even interested in finding a solution to what they’re whining about.

Even worse, whereas venting can be done alone (for example, going to the gym for a hard workout, writing an emotional letter then throwing it away, or even crying can all be considered as venting), complaining is all about choosing to stay in a negative state by projecting that negativity onto someone else. Complaining, unlike venting, isn’t a temporary state of blowing off steam.

Complainers are usually stuck in a destructive pattern of needing a captive audience to serve as a dumping ground for their negative emotions. Put it this way–you’ll know that you’re dealing with a chronic complainer if you’re afraid to strike up conversation with him/her by asking the normally innocent question: “hey, how’s it going?”

Complainers will bitch and moan (without listening to a word that you have to say), and of course, they’ll happily take up as much of your time as you’re willing to give to them. Worst of all, if you allow them to, they’ll end up dragging you down into their emotional cesspool with you.

Also unlike venting, most complainers don’t feel better after a marathon complaining session–if you don’t believe me, just ask them. You won’t feel better either if you’re stuck listening to it. There’s nothing healthy about complaining. And just like many other unhealthy pursuits, it can be addictive if you choose to partake in this activity too often.

Source: Shola, founder of The Positivity Solution

الفرق بين التذمر والفضفضة

الكثير من الأشخاص يخلطون بين
رغم ان الفرق كبير جداً فالفضفضة هي امر جيد يساعدنا على البوح بمكنونات انفسنامثال: بعد انهاء مكالمة هاتفية مع عميل غير مهذب كنت قد تحملت سخافته طوال فترة المحادثة بإمكانك ان تخبر زميلك عن هذه المكالمة وهذا امر صحي لأنك بهذه الطريقة تطرد الطاقة السلبية التي حصلت عليها من هذه المكالمة ولكنك يجب ان تتخطى الأمر بعد هذه الفضفضة مباشرةًاي انك لن تجلس طوال الأسبوع تتحدث عن هذا العميل وهذه المكالمة لأنه كلما تعمقت اكثر في شكواك كلما دخلت في دوامة لا تنتهي
من التذمر

البوح شيء إيجابي وصحي

اما البوح او الفضفضة فهي وسيلة تٌمكِنك من التعبير عن مشاعرك لتتخلص من الطاقة السلبية الموجودة بداخلك ولكن بعد ذلك
يجب ان ينتهي الموضوع على الفور

قد يبدو أن الفضفضة والشكوى متشابهان ظاهرياًولكن في الحقيقة هناك خطاً رفيعاً يفصل بين الاثنين
فالشكوى غير محددة المعالم والأهداف
فأنت تشكو وتتذمر من كل شيء واي شيء دون ان يكون لك هدف محدد تتوقف عنده
انت فقط تشكو من اجل الشكوى
فالمتذمرون لا يرغبون حتى بإيجاد حلول
لأنهم يريدون البقاء على هذه الحالة
ويبحثون دائماً عن الأرضية الخصبة التي تستوعب كل هذا الكم الرهيب من التذمر

فالشكوى ادمان و الفضفضة راحة

شولا مؤسسة الحل الإيجابي